Handling toddler temper tantrums

Tantrums in young children are very common, they often start around 18 months. They often start as your child wants to be able to do more things, but is unable to communicate their needs.

Once your child has learnt to talk, you will likely see tantrums decrease as the frustration from not being able to talk to you and describe what they want/need eases.

If the tantrum seems to be starting due to hunger or tiredness these situations are easily rectified with a snack, meal, some quiet/relaxed time, nap or bed.

In other situations:

  • Try to understand why your child is getting angry.

  • Talk to them to see if they can explain what is wrong.

  • If they’re unable to communicate, try offering them a hug to help calm them down and then try talking afterwards.

  • Make sure they’re safe, if they look like they might be about to throw themselves on the floor try placing them on the floor gently and remove any objects they could harm themselves on.

  • Try explaining you understand they’re cross and you will be there waiting with a hug when they have calmed down.

  • Try mindfulness and relaxation techniques such as asking them to blow the hair out of your face, pretend to blow up balloons or blow a light object across a table. Things that encourage taking in deep breaths can help to calm your child.

  • Don’t retaliate with cross words or smacking, this will fuel the tantrum further rather than calm it down.

  • Step away and take some deep breaths. Not so easy when you’re out, but when you’re at home, ensure your child is safe then go to a different room and take some deep breaths yourself. Situations can get fraught when a child is screaming, stepping away for a minute or two to reset your mind can be a huge help.